Architect Abroad

Sometimes when we are traveling and I am explaining the trip to people, I feel an unspoken question from other travelers, that I feel compelled to talk more about. The question of why do this and frankly, as a mid-career professional, why now? Why not travel when you retire, why are you gone for so long, and why pull your kid out of school? This is also a question I ask myself as I really don’t see any other families out on the road. Well, I thought I would share the history behind the decision with all of you.

It was this past Easter long weekend and Mike and I were just sitting beside one another and having a rare talk about the future. I was talking about work, some general talk about how Laura was going to be starting grade nine soon, you know that kind of thing, when it struck me that my child was really growing up and becoming a much more independent person now. I mean you always kind of know this in the back of your head, but sometimes it creeps into the foreground of your thought and once there, it tends to freak you out. Perhaps because she is an only child, or perhaps because I was a working mom, but I really didn’t feel ready for her childhood to be over. I sat back and realized that I am on the home stretch of her adolescence and that pretty soon she was going to have a job, be driving a car, have a boyfriend, be in high school, and I was left with the feeling that I had somehow her childhood, that I was actually living in the ‘good old days’ now and that we were on the brink of a major change here, and soon it would all be over. It is probably the same guilt that strikes every working parent, but I just felt that this was it, all the old adages you hear from people older that you that you need to cherish these days because they are short were starting to ring alarm bells in my brain. Those adages that you tend to ignore when you have a baby screaming at you, but now with an independent teen, who happens to look like a carbon copy of you, is throwing you a saucy glance, those old adages are strangely prescient. The feeling of not attending enough baseball games or swimming lessons, the feeling of being exhausted when she wanted to spend fun time with me… I was missing out on things, and those things that were not going to come back as she slowly turned into a teen that wanted to hangout in her room more than anything else.

So I looked at my amazing husband and said Mike, my projects are wrapping up this August, and Laura is on her last year of jr. high, maybe we can see if we can travel the world with her? Like maybe we can show her, and remind ourselves, of all the goodness and kindness that abounds this earth and bond more as a family as well. Mike is really amazing at saying ‘yes’ to things, especially if those things include travel, however, I wasn’t too sure if Laura would be up for the adventure. Eight months is a long time away from your friends into the unknown, and at the time we had no idea what we were going to do for schooling. We only figured that out about 1 day before September classes, but that is another story.

Once Laura was in, which didn’t take much convincing actually, it was time to get my office onboard too. I really didn’t want to get replaced over this as I love my workplace, but after years of practicing architecture I was starting to feel a restlessness in my career too. I should briefly explain, you spend your intern architect years really having no blissful clue on what you are doing, but you are just trying to drink from a fire hose of knowledge and get better/understand about being an architect. After 2 years, you take 4 exams that are so incredibly hard that failing some of them is a real possibility, then you work some more and interview and you are an architect. However, a fresh architect is not the same as an experienced one, obviously. I used have a phrase ‘architecture is hard’ spoken in a pretty whiny voice when I was feeling overwhelmed at work, which as an intern, was weekly, but now I haven’t said out loud in about 2 years. It is not because architecture isn’t hard, it is just that I know where to go and what to do now when it becomes hard. At work, I was feeling like I was finally hitting my stride, things were going well, my teams were great, projects were profitable, and my coworkers and clients were happy with me…but I was feeling that something was missing. I am not sure exactly what it was, but I needed the time to respect that feeling, to go explore a bit, to wander in the architectural wilderness, and find what new ideas the world was percolating for weaving site, building technologies, and human imagination together. Fortunately work offered up a quick yes, and I was able to either finish off my projects or hand them off to some great teams.

Then there were the challenges of getting our home rented out, which ended up falling through twice, getting the cars sorted out, procuring medications/vaccinations, Mike working through details of working his job remotely, all the travel planning (which I am still really only doing about 1 week in advance, unless it they are huge flights), budgeting (if you want to know more about the budgeting for a world trip check this old post here), an airline strike, packing up our home, and a million other details to sort through. Basically between Easter and August Long weekend when we left, there were so many opportunities to just say No to this. It is really easy to say no, but the yearn persisted to find a yes to every challenge. We went from the initial idea at Easter being a 50% probability of happening to 95% in about 2 weeks because we trusted that we would find solutions or were okay with the risk if we didn’t.

Over the last 3 months I have cherished this time with my little nuclear family and while I still think about work from time to time, especially when I am seeing cool buildings or missing friends, I do feel like it is okay to take a break and I won’t be feeling like this was all a mistake when we get back to it next spring. I feel lucky and blessed for the taking this opportunity and I feel like I have the time not only to enjoy Mike and Laura, but learn more about myself too. I am not the Amanda of 3 months ago, who had this anxiety about all of the things I am losing, even though yeah I am losing some of the more material things like income and taking a pause in your career right when you feel like you are really (and finally) hitting your stride is something that not many do. But as I am writing, I look over to my family beside me and I can’t help but have my heart fill with joy as I get to witness my sassy teen navigate the world and easily accept that life everywhere is so different than life at home. We end up with plenty of laughs, teasing, and opportunities for teaching. All of this is changing me and maybe I won’t be the same Amanda 5 months in the future either, I am looking forward to discovering more.